Ever wondered what really turns you on? How well do you know yourself intimately? How well do you know your likes and dislikes? Have you ever taken some time to really dive into what you like? If you can’t think of immediate answers then you may want to take some time for yourself, to get to know yourself.
Often we place the burden of pleasure on our partner. We expect them to know our body, where our hot spots are, and what buttons to press to place us on the express train to pleasure. Yet so many of us don’t know what we like. If I read a list of 50 things, I cannot guarantee that I’d be able to say yay or nay to each of them. Being in tune with these things, knowing what constitutes as slow cooker, and whats the microwave is important. Knowing these things can make a huge difference, especially in a clutch moment.
Just as it is important to get to know your partner, its important to know yourself. I’m not saying you should have weekly masturbation marathons. But would it hurt to do so? Have you tried everything? Do you know everything in the sexual realm and if it works or doesn’t work for you? Probably not. Trying different stuff with your parner is great and I’d say necessary. But you should also do both of you a favor and get to know yourself a bit as well.
There are a few ways to do this. I’ll offer two, for now. The first way is to carve out some time to search & sample. Look stuff up, check out kinks, positions, and other unorthodox sexual things. Allow yourself the room to be intrigued, curious, turned on and turned off. Sit with those things for a while and truly search your feelings. Dive into your own exploration rabbit hole.
The second way, takes more vulnerability. Because it requires trust, and submission. Learn with your partner. Go on a journey with them. Together you can discover all of the things you like, and don’t like. Trying tons of different things all while they literally hold your hand. This can be a beautiful experience and it can take your bond to a level you may have never thought possible. Not the easiest thing to do, but it can be very rewarding.
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