Safe words like “Red” & “Pineapples” have been made famous over the years. The 50 Shades movies & books showed various times where the words were used. Often it was said when one of the main characters felt she was at her limit and the pleasure was turning into pain. Mr. Hart used it as a truthful joke in his stand up. He used the word any time he felt uncomfortable. Both forms of media were highly praised and both gave you different scenarios where the words could and should be used. Both are extremely popular, and both have received both great and horrible feedback for a number of different reasons.
I don’t think either of them used the words incorrectly. It is true that safe words by nature make you think that they are words that are only to be used when sexual activities become dangerous or borderline abusive. The very term insinuates that the phrase will keep you away from danger. However, safe words, like any words, are what you make them out to be. As they said in The Matrix Reloaded, “It is a word. What matters is the connection the word implies.” This K. Hart saying his safe words whenever he feels uncomfortable isn’t wrong either.
Safe words can be used in many scenarios. It would behoove you go diacuss each of them with your partner. The last thing you want to do is throw them off when you say it. They can easily be confused and not know what they should do in that moment. If they’re used to hearing it when someone is hurt and you’re not, they can be completely lost when you say it. Since we’re all into different things, and all trying different things with different partners, its only logical to have agreed upon safe words with your partners.
Knowing each other’s safe words, or creating one for both of you to use together is a good idea. Another good idea is letting your partner know when and where you usually use it. For example, if you use it when you’re feeling too much pleasure and you need a quick break, you should let them know that. You never know what their history and experiences with safe words may be. You should assume nothing. Safe words are great ways of communicating during sexual and sensual activities. They tell your patner that it’s time to stop whatever they are doing no matter what it is. Another great way to use safe words is when you’re trying new things together. You may not be into something as much as they are and may need to put a stop to things.
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