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Sex Talk Pt. 5 – Hygiene

Personal hygiene is how you care for your body. This practice includes bathing, washing your hands, brushing your teeth, and more.

Healthline.com

Personal hygiene is our topic this week. It may seem like a no brainer, but it’s not something we should assume that our partner just has mastered. Also, in part two of my dating tips, I spoke about asking questions. You and your partner may view hygiene differently. For example, rag vs no rag (or loofah) when washing. Whichever your choice is may vary from your partner’s. The difference in opinion and cleaning styles can make a big difference.

Hygiene is a weird topic to talk about. People are finicky and this is a sensitive topic to talk about. Especially in 2020 when people “ghost” others for the slightest thing(s). However, the way we take care of our bodies varies from person to person and can affect the bedroom if you’re not careful. I encourage you to talk about this topic. Just tread softly.

There are definitely days when you want to please your partner and see what they taste like after a full day of being up and about. But what if it’s not one of the days you feel that way? What if you’re trying a new natural deodorant and its not working as well as you’d like? Or, what if you just came out of the gym and are all sweaty? Sweaty can be sexy, but not if it taste like, “oh no”. 🤢

Years ago I was seeing a woman who was so concerned with personal hygiene that she washed twice every shower. She used two diferent soaps, and then put a scented lotion all over her body. She smelled just as irresistible as she looked. Especially after she was done moisturizing. However, after a few months I asked her why she never skipped the “kitty” when she did this. She said she wanted to make sure there was never a reason for a man to turn away from oral sex. I totally understood. I asked her could she skip that area next time. I told her that I appreciated her methods and reasoning, but I also wanted to fully taste her. She obliged, and I made sure we both enjoyed ourselves.

On another occasion I had just got home from work, and got a booty call. I said yes, without knowing how soon they’d arrive. When they said they’d be at my place in just a handful of minutes I panicked a bit. I’d showered just before going to work, and work wasn’t very busy. But I prefer to be fresh for my partners. There wasn’t enough time for a bird bath or a quick wash up. So I used a pack of wipes that a friend gave me. They were scented and “for men”, but I’d never used them before. I gave my areas a quick wipe down and finished as they called saying they’d arrived. Things got heavy quick and she started giving me oral sex. Almost immediately she stopped and asked me what I’d done or used to make “him” taste so bad. I was embarrassed to say the least.

To conclude I’ll say this. We all have different styles and scents we use. We all have different natural smells and odors. Your partner has to smell and taste whatever is going on with your body, “private parts”, mouth, etc. Be curtious and think of your partner. Have a conversation with them and see what they like and don’t like. Then you should be able to discuss their routine, scents, etc as well. Keep things mutual, keep things light, and tread softly. Increasing the communication, and the cleanliness are always a good thing. You may not have to change anything, but if you did, it would be for both party’s benefits. Remember, when people enjoy things more, they do them more often.

Quick Links:

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Sex Talk Pt. 4 – Foreplay

The word of the day, better yet, the word of the week is foreplay. Foreplay is often slept on. It’s often skipped, ignored and neglected. Things get hot and heavy, they are flowing and you just want to get right to sex. You can’t think of anything more than penetration and the great feelings it gives each of you. You skip all of the pleasantries and next thing you know you’re in a full on sex session. Now you’re off to the races! But you never warmed up the car … you just drove off and went from zero to a hundred.

You may not hear about it in the barber shop or the local salon, but awesome foreplay does happen. It’s often skipped in stories as well. People seem to focus on the main stage when it comes to sexual activities. I’d like to gear the focus away from that today. Which is probably an unpopular thing to do in today’s instant world. But when we slow down and focus on the details, we get a better story. Just ask yourself, which of these two examples sounds better.

Example 1:

He made me cum so much! Girl, I came like three times back to back then a few minutes later I came again. The sex was great!

Example 2:

He played with my pussy while he kissed me. Then he put his mouth on every part of my body. After I came twice we went to have sex and he teased me some before putting it in. And girl, don’t get me started on the sex! He went slow and then picked up speed. That shit was intense.

Details. The devil is in the details. Make those details matter. Don’t skip them. You wouldn’t jump in your car and floor it. You warm that car up, make sure you have everything you need for yourself and that car, and then you check the mirrors before you start your trip. Well this should be no different.

No matter your sexual preference, how long you’ve been intimate with this partner, how long you’ve known this person, foreplay will make a difference. I don’t mean two kisses and then you fuck either. Take some time, and make it fun for the both of you. Warm that body up. Do the things that they like. Kiss, lick, nibble, bite, and suck on their body. Hit their spots, tease them, and make them want you more.

Good foreplay leads to great sex. You warm the person up, get them all hot and bothered and then provide good sex. That’s a memorable session. I’m not saying you have to perform oral sex on them for an hour straight. But on the flip side of the coin, if you did i’m sure they’d be very thankful and more than willing to show their appreciation in more ways than one.

Foreplay is supposed to be the pregame, the precursor to sex. Don’t skip it. Despite what TV shows, movies and the streets will have you believe, people enjoy foreplay. Good foreplay gets you turned on, in sync with each other, and can even make you cum. And that is all good. You want foreplay to be good. Get good at foreplay and you’ll see your sex life improve.

Lastly, remember that the same way you enjoy foreplay, so do they. Men and women both like foreplay. Never forget that. Foreplay is something everyone enjoys. There will definitely be times when you both want intercourse to happen and want it to happen right now. Thats fine. I’m not saying be a slave to foreplay. But please remember that both of you enjoy it. Do it to them, let them do it to you. Take a few minutes and let the good times happen. Everything in life doesn’t have to be instant or immediate.

Quick Links:

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Sex Talk Pt. 2 – Exploring

Exploration is the name of the game. Whether you are in a relationship, single, having a one night, stand, or an orgy you want to explore. Explore your partner’s body. I cannot stress how important, informative, and fun this can be. Whether you enjoy learning, enjoy pleasing your partner or are just looking to have a fun time, this will be beneficial to you. Today’s tip is all about exploration.

When you go on vacation you usually go to a cool place you heard about, a place you were really curious about, or maybe a place that just caught your attention and sparked some curiosity. How you discovered the place you are traveling to isn’t the focus. What happens once you book the flight, cruise, or whatever, is that anticipation begins to build. You begin getting excited and your curiosity grows even more. You wonder what kind of food they have, or where the cool places to go are. You may be going to relax, you may be going to turn up, but either way you plan on checking out a few spots to see what places leave a mark on your mind and make the experience memorable.

If you’re like me and many others, food is one of the things on the top of that list when you go somewhere. You’ve probably got a whole list of places you want to go to taste and sample things. You plan to do some sight seeing, maybe some bar hopping, and eating is usually close to the top of the priority list. Well, I advise that you treat sexual experiences similarly. Approach them with a curious mind, an eager mind, and a mind prepared for adventure.

Take some time to really check out everything that your sex partner has to offer. Survey the land, check out a few hot and cold spots, and taste a few things. There are tons of ways to do this. You could ask the person to lay naked and you could kiss every curve and crevice. Or you could begin with a pat down. Roaming their body with your hands while they are clothed and maybe step it up to a strip search after a few minutes. Another tactic is to mix it up. A little touching, a little tasting, and see how they react to each of those sensations in different places.

It may be true that certain “hot spots” are universal for the most part. But you will have more fun discovering their secret spots, and the spots that you didn’t expect to turn them on. You may just find a spot that makes them laugh, because it’s sensitive or tickles. But even that discovery can be kept in your back pocket for a later time. No discovery is a waste of time in my opinion. You may also be unintentionally helping your partner learn things about their body, likes, and dislikes, as well. Perhaps they never knew that their knee cap was a sensitive spot for them. Until you kissed and licked on it they never knew how much of a turn on it was for them.

Another reason to take some time out to explore is that this helps build anticipation for what’s coming next. And no, that doesn’t mean intercourse. Just because I’m telling you that I’m going to explore your body, that doesn’t mean that I’m going to go directly from head to toe. Maybe I’ll start at the feet and work my way up, maybe I’ll start at the head and work my way down, maybe I’ll jump around a bit just to throw you off. You keep the person guessing, and excited simply by bringing a bit of mystery to the game.

Check it ALL out. Anything that you and your partner are okay with. IF you are both comfortable with it, then try it. Taste it, feel it, and see what happens. If you’re not aiming for a quickie then this is the perfect way to add time to the clock, make things a bit more fun, and build anticipation. While they lay there happy and guessing, their body is building up, getting tense or loose, and the mind is running wild trying to guess what’s next and how it’s going to feel.

In closing, you will literally see the benefits of this activity. More so, you can take your sweet time, or do a quick version. You can do as much or as little as you like. I find that the more thorough you are the more fun it is for you both. However, that is up to you. As long as you are both comfortable and enjoying the experience that’s what matters most. The goal should be to have fun, and learn something new about either yourself or your partner. Explore the front of their body, the back of their body, and just make sure that you both know what’s off limits. You’ll be surprised how much fun you could have. And, when it’s all over, if you’ve got a good partner they’ll say, “My turn”, and then they’ll explore your body.

Quick Links:

Sex Memoir

Sexual Intellectual Playlist

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My desire, you’re quote

I’ve been craving kisses. Kissing is intimate and sensual and nearly impossible during this lockdown. I was in the house, playing R&B music, trying to suppress my desires and who comes on? Bruno motherfucking Mars. His smooth Jodeci type beat plays as he sings for the young lady he’s with. Telling her that soon her lovely Versace dress will no longer be needed and it will be on the floor below them. As he sings some of the very words i’m thinking internally I felt compelled to use his lyrics as our quote for this week. Thanks Bruno. Hurry up and end Covid lol.