Being an adult requires you to juggle multiple things at once. Your focus has to be laser sharp to make sure that you’re doing everything you need to do, and you’re where you need to be at all times. You’ve got to worry about laundry, dishes, work, possibly kids, and much more. Often the worry, and angst of it all can bleed into the bedroom. And it usually does so at the worst possible time.
In the midst of an intimate moment with your partner it can be very easy to get distracted with thoughts of other things. You’re having a great moment with your partner, things are flowing and soon, so are random thoughts. Did you put the leftovers away? Did we lock the bedroom door? Did anyone take out the trash? These and other thoughts have a way of sneakily entering your brain and the bedroom.
It happens to the best of us. The byproduct is often a disruption of the physical activities. Firmness lost, wetness dried, and apologies given. However, I’m here to tell you that these moments don’t have to ruin the fun. These stop signs can be lessened to a single speed bump, and even eradicated. It takes time, and practice, but it can be done.
You could think of this as a way to compartmentalize. You need not create a mental filing cabinet, where you alphabetize your thoughts. However, you will be putting those thoughts away for the time being. In that overwhelming moment it may be too hard to rid yourself of all of the thoughts flooding your mind. So don’t. Instead, put them in your back pocket for later. When those thoughts rush your mind, and you feel yourself drifting away, take a breath and re-enter yourself. Much like your GPS, you want to bring yourself back to the proper place.
Redirecting your focus is the key. Staying in that moment is vital. By taking a breath, and realigning yourself, you put those thoughts away (for now), and stay on task. You continue to focus on pleasing your partner and creating memorable moments. This will take practice, and may not work immediately. But over time, you can get better and better at it. Just remember that your partner wants you there with them, pleasing them, and enjoying the session. Be present. Be in that moment. Be focused.
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