Sometimes you meet a person and things are just flowing. The chemistry is right, the setting is adding to the mood. There’s a good vibe and whether its the dancing, the booze, or the conversation, something is connecting you and this other person. You start thinking about taking things outside of this place (bar, lounge, brunch, etc). You start thinking about being in a more private setting. You start thinking about a one night stand.
A one night stand is typically when you have a singular sex session with a person you either just met, or a one night affair with someone you already know. The premise is that you’re going to “sleep” with this person one time. They get one night and nothing else. That one night can be anywhere. But the general concept is that you’re going to have a wild time with them, and then never be intimate with this person again. Or as a friend of mine says, “Have fun with it, and be done with it”.
I’ve heard horror stories and epic stories about one night stands. In this day and age they are often labeled as casual sex and nothing more. But its not just casual sex. Especially when this is done with a stranger. Casusal sex usually alludes to sex without a commitment. That’s true here, but this is a bit more specific. This also isn’t a regular thing with someone you’re already sleeping with.
There are some good things about one night stands. There are also some bad things. Let’s dive into each category.
Pros:
– No strings attached
– The risks and thrill of it are intoxicating
– You don’t have to wait to become physical/intimate. You dive right into it
– A fun time with someone who you probably didn’t know, or didn’t know very well
– Hopefully a great time/great memories
– The possibility to make it more than a one night stand. Rare, but possible.
– Sometimes this is a great way to investigate how things are with someone you’ve been curious about.
– If nothing else, its sex and a distraction from the world
Cons:
– A wasted night (if it’s a bad experience)
– If you sleep with someone you have to see regularly (coworker or friend), this can lead to lots of awkward moments or other issues.
– The risk of embarrassment if/when you see them again
– Pregnancy (if you don’t use protection, or didn’t use it properly).
– STD Infection (Because 9/10 times you didn’t get any test results from them prior)
It’s important that we stop those lust filled moments on the dance floor, at the bar, or in the bathroom, to assess the risks we are about to take. You may be getting a rush of lustful thoughts and feelings, but you have to ask yourself is it worth it to move forward. Your answer may vary situation by situation. My answer today may be different than it was ten years ago, and it may depend who I’m locked in the bathroom with. The excitement can overwhelm you, but you have to take a deep breath and think about all of the things involved. Risk assessment is vital. Clear headed thoughts are usually better ones. Plus you’ve got to live with this later on, regardless of the outcome.
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