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How To Bring Sex Toys Into Your Sex Life

Sex toys can be lots of fun. They can elevate bedroom sessions to a whole new level. Knowing you want to use them is one thing. Knowing how to bring them into your sex life is a another thing all together. The process of introducing sex toys into your bedroom antics can be tricky. So I’m hoping to offer some assistance.

Step 1: Have the conversation

Speak with your partner. Let them know that you’d like to try bringing a toy into the bedroom. This is a delicate topic and you want to approach it with care. But it all begins with speaking to your partner. Seeing where their mind is, what they are open to. Once they are down to have the conversation, you can start the process.

Step 2: Tell them the goal

Let them know that this isn’t about them lacking in any way. This is about having even more fun. Its about the two of you coming closer together, being more intimate. Because thats what’s its all about. Learning more about each other, trying new things together, doing new things together, and using all of those experiences to grow closer together. Make the suggestion and see how they feel. If they agree, then you can bring a toy into the bedroom and move forward with the process.

Step 3: Setting the scene

You’re going to need to set things up. I don’t mean prepping for a party. I mean choosing a toy and getting your partner mentally ready to use it. Their comfort is the extremely important. They need to feel comfortable and safe. They need to feel like they can do this, and that it will be a fun experience. You’re going to start with a small amount of time. You don’t want to use the toy for an extended period of time. Give them a sample. Use the toy with them for a little bit, and then put it away. If it goes well, they’ll probably request it again in the near future. If it doesn’t go well , that’s okay too. Because there are plenty of other toys out there.

During play time you want to make sure that they are okay. Trying new things can be scary. Walk them through it. Ask if they’re ready, ask how it feels, and start off small. If they toy has different levels, you should probably start low and increase slowly over time. You don’t want to do too much too soon. It could scare them off.

You also need to be mentally ready for this experience. It requires patience on your end. You may have to take baby steps with them. You may not be able dive right into it. They may need more time than you’d like. They may say stop (or the safe word), sooner than you anticipated. You want to be ready for everything. The more comfortable you make them, the more calm you are, the better the outcome.

Its important that you allow things to flow organically, make your partner comfortable, and be patient if you want to being toys into the bedroom. Even if your partner has used toys before, it doesn’t mean that they’re ready to do so with you. Being a good leader means understanding the situation and your squad. Read the room, and do what you can to make it as smooth and fun of an experience as possible. Hopefully following these steps will help you do so. Hopefully these steps will help you bring toys into your sex life.

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The Coding Of A Bachelor

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How To Prep For A Sex Session

We don’t always know when sex is going to happen. But when you know beforehand, it gives you the opportunity to prepare. There are a few different ways you can prepare. Especially if you have advanced notice (24 hours or more). I’ve decided to break it down into sections. Because each of these plays a part in preparing for the fun. Its always better to be prepared. It can avoid problems and keep the party flowing smoothly.

Diet:

What we eat directly affects our bowls, our stomachs, our scents, and more. For example, if you consume lots of cheese and dairy there’s a high chance that you’ll feel bloated. There are foods that make us gassy, and others that affect our breath or can seep our of your pours. One easy example is alcohol. Another is garlic. These are all things that aren’t very welcoming to a partner and can also divert your mood or sex drive. So, be mindful of what you eat leading upto a sex session.

Mental:

Mental preparation is probably one of the most slept on parts of sex. People often dive in, have no plan and didn’t prepare themselves for what’s about to go down. This is just as important with reoccurring partners as it is with brand new ones. Being ready, not being nervous, or overly anxious are helpful for both parties. You want to go in with a clear mind, a focused mind. A mind ready to embrace the fun, and bring positive vibes into the bedroom.

Hygiene:

Whether this is a long-term sex partner or a brand new one, it’s important to present yourself clean and ready. Both parties should be clean and ready to go. Whether your partner has tasted you hundreds of times, or never before, you want them to enjoy your tastes and smells. It’s true that some people may not want you fresh out the shower every time. We all have different preferences. But very few want you to come to a sex session salty and smelly. Show up ready to be sucked and fucked.

Communication:

Something I mention too often is communication. Speaking with your partner is always important and helpful. There are often so many things assumed and left unsaid before sex or meet ups. These things later cause tension, confusion and other problems. Ask whatever questions you may have, and give them the room to do the same. I’m not talking about planning the entire night. I’m talking about clearing the air and making sure that you’re both on the same page. A quick conversation prior can make a world of a difference.

Tools (condoms, toys, etc):

Every situation calls for different things. You may not need condoms, or Plan B pills, but perhaps you need a slew of other things for your fun. Make sure you have the handcuffs, whipped cream, strawberries, balls gag, zip ties, or whatever else available. If you need contraceptives make sure you have them or know who is responsible for bringing them. If you left the wand at their place, make sure they bring it back this time. This is part of communication, but is often its own piece of the puzzle. Its better to make sure you have these things before hand. You don’t want to show up without something that may have been a big part of the plan for the night.

Quick Links:

The Coding Of A Bachelor

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Sex Talk Pt. 23 – How And When To Have Selfless Sex

Selfless sex? Like forget about myself? Completely forget about myself? Yes. Sometimes you have to do this. But when? And why?

I’m a big believer in sex being mutually beneficial. I believe pleasure should be mutual. Too often people only care about themselves and their own needs during sex. However, there are also times when you need to completely forget about yourself and your needs. That’s right, nothing for you and everything for them.

I’m not saying that every time should be completely about them, and your needs should be neglected. Definitely not. But, there’s nothing wrong with putting your needs in your back pocket and completely making it about them for a day. Hit all of their spots, do all of their favorite things, and let them know you want them, and appreciate them. Even if you’re not a fan of talking during sex, let them know before or after. Vocalize that this session is all about them, and showing your appreciation for them.

When: Once in a while. Maybe once a month, or once every three months. It depends on how often y’all get down, and how things are flowing with the two of you. A great time to do this is if you see they are feeling down, or need a little bit of a “pick me up”.

How: Forget about you. Forget about the things you yearn for. Focus on them, and them alone. Do all the things that they like, all of the things that they crave, put them in their favorite positions, and most importantly, tell them that this session is all about them. Tell them you appreciate them, and desire to please them.

To conclude, we all like feeling special. There’s nothing like being the complete focus of a sex session. One episode about a different character won’t ruin the show. In fact, it often helps. Who doesn’t like being told nice things, while all of their favorite things are being done to them, while all of their needs and wants are being met? Whispering nice things to them as you do all of the things that they like, will definitely get you extra points. It’s a gift, that keeps on giving. A gift that won’t be forgotten, and perhaps they’ll return the favor in the near future. But even if they don’t, you will given them a memorable moment, and that’s a win for you too.

Quick Links:

The Coding of a Bachelor