Sex Talk Pt. 18 – Taking Notes Will Improve Your Sex Life

You’ve got a million little things to do. One of them is your partner. If you care about pleasing them, or simply having a good time, then this tip will be helpful. Getting to know your partner takes time. As time passes, what people like and dislike will change. In the moment, many things can happen. You probably won’t remember every detail of every sex session.

If you want to pass the class, you have to take good notes. That doesn’t just apply to college courses. You can be good at sex, you can pay attention to details, but if you don’t take notes, you’re going to miss out on a lot. You could also just forget stuff. Being busy, and having lots on your mind, can make you forget vital information.

Do you need to have a physical notebook? No. Do you need to jot things down in your phone? No. Whichever you choose is fine. If you think your memory is good enough, you can use that. But these bookmarks, or sticky notes, will make a big difference.

Simply put, there are things that stand out in a good and a bad way during sexual moments. Foreplay, oral sex, intercourse, and after sex cuddles, all provide you with information. What you do with that information is up to you. Seeing those things is one skill, knowing what to do with that information is another. And, that information could be about them or about you. Either way, its good to be able to look back at those notes later on.

Taking notes will give you a slew of things to look back on, reflect on, use, or improve on. If your notes say your partner likes “Thing A”, you can do it more often. If your partner says they love when you wear blue underwear, you can make sure to have that color on next time you see them. Or, if you have a list of things they don’t like, you can skip that on focus on what they do like. You can also take notes on things you like and don’t like. Data collection is step 1. Reviewing and using that data is step 2.

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Sex Talk Pt. 7 – Planning

A lot of times we “go with the flow” or “freestyle” in the bedroom. Personally I’m a big fan of doing things that feel natural and letting things happen organically. Especially when you and your partner have good chemistry. It’s also nice to plan things at times. It sets a different tone and let’s things flow a bit differently.

When you come with a plan there’s less to be unsure about. You can also be more assertive. You can plan based on cravings or desires as well. For example, if you want to make a mess and get wild you could use whipped cream. Its soft, fluffy and doesn’t stick to body parts well. Mostly because we are warm and it melts. But it doesn’t have to be food or “toppings”.

You can plan a romantic night. You can plan a night full of great foreplay. You can set up a session that’s just based on wild oral sex. You can even do a theme like BDSM night or role play day. There are tons of options here. Each of them takes pressure off of you if you take a second to plan things out. This is even easier when you know your patner well or really listen to them when they talk about sex or sexual desires.

Another reason to put a plan together is to build excitement. It’s not to receive a call or text saying, “Tomorrow you just come through and be ready. I’ve got things planned out and you’re gonna cum a lot and have fun.” That’s a great text/call/email to receive. To just show up and have a blast. Zero pressure or expectations? Who doesn’t like that every once in a while?

To conclude, there is nothing wrong with “freestyling” sex or sexual activities. Its also helpful to switch things up every now and then. Remember that we want to keep sex fun and memorable. Planning ahead of time also gives us a clear path and saves time. Lastly, its easier to do this when you have great communication with your partner. The more you understand them, the easier it is to plan something fun for you both.

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