There are tons of things that we should and shouldn’t be doing in the bedroom. Like many important things, we often learn this through mistakes and experience. I thought it may be helpful to give you a short list of definite things you should never do during sexual activities. These things are big no-nos during the forbidden dance. Sadly people do them often. If you’re doing any of these, I implore you to stop.
Playing dead is something animals do when in fear of a predator. Often this is a predator they cannot defeat with their strengths, so they play dead and outwit their foe. Your sex partner is not your enemy. In fact they are more like your dance partner. If you were at a hot party, dancing, moving, touching, sweating, you wouldn’t want them to just stand still. Sexual activity requires movement, participation. Participate. Don’t just lay there like a log. Join in by using all of the available parts of your body to make your partner feel good.
Sex should be mutually beneficial. Sometimes your partner may treat you and make you the focus of the session. That’s great, and fun. Unless that’s the aim for the current session, you shouldn’t be hoarding the pleasure. You shouldn’t be keeping it all for you and storing up as much as possible, to save for a rainy day. As opposed to making it about you, and only you (and your needs), make it about the two of you. Share the moment, share the pleasure. Realize that the more you please them, the more they want to please you. Sharing is caring, and there is no “i” in team (or in sex).
We all know the famous saying about what happens when you assume. Yet so many people assume during sexual activities. You assume they want this. You assume they don’t want that. You assume they want to be in this position. You assume they don’t want to be in that position. Stop that! You have no right to decide what they want or don’t want. Or what they will or won’t do. Stop assuming and speak. Ask questions, make suggestions, give hints, do something. But DO NOT ASSUME! For when you do so, you strip your partner of the choice, and that’s never okay.
People love to hold back during sex. They hold back everything they can. Climaxing, moaning, screaming, and whatever else they can imagine. Yes its true that build up helps an orgasm feel more intense. But if your partner is doing their job, and aiming to please you, allow them to do so. If you feel the urge to moan, do it. Want to scream, let it out. Sex should be flowing, natural, and fun. Putting constraints and restrictions on it doesn’t help either of you.
I had to save the trickiest one for last … Being impatient. Too many of us are like little kids at a store screaming out, “I want it! I want it!” But good things come to those who wait. Rushing through things, making demands, having no patience at all, will completely ruin a sexual activity. If she’s not wet enough, help her get there. If he’s not hard, give him a second to stretch out. Allowing your impatience to frustrate you often does the same to your partner. Now you’re both upset and no one got what they wanted. Better to be proactive than reactive. Take a breath, and give it a second. Know that you’re desires will be satisfied if you give your partner some time.
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